The Evangelion Fan Fiction Drinking Game v. 1.01

There are SPOILERS ahead, sorta. No explanations of the meaning of Eva or anything. But you were warned...

This is a standard drinking game; sit down in front of a monitor, or with a handful of hardcopies, along with your friends and a large quantity of beverage. Then make like Misato at breakfast.

Note: Actually attempting this with anything alcoholic will kill you. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, mind, but do know what you’re getting into, eh?


If Shinji…
    Faces up to his father, add 1 drink.
    Whispers “I mustn’t run away!” to himself, add 1 drink.
    Wimps out, add 1 drink.
    Whines, add NO drinks. (Too easy.)
    Walks by a DHL truck, add 1 drink.
    Gets in a fight outside his Eva, add 1 drink.
    Has sex…
        And it’s with Rei: Add 3 drinks.
            …and it was his idea, add 1 drink.
            …and it was HER idea, add 4 drinks.
            …if it wasn’t their idea, add 6 drinks.
        And it’s with Asuka: Add 2 drinks.
        And it’s with Misato: Add 1 drink, and whoop.
        And it’s with Ritsuko, Maya, or Hikari: Add 4 drinks.
        And it’s with a guy, add 2 drinks.
            …if it’s Kaoru, nod and add 2 drinks.
        And nobody else is involved, add 3 drinks and grab a tissue.
    Kills an Angel, add 1 drink.
        …after it beats Asuka, add 2 drinks.
        …without his Eva, add 5 drinks.
    ISN’T present at all, add 3 drinks.

If Asuka:
    Asks Shinji if he’s stupid, add 1 drink.
        …2 if he answers “yes”.
    Yells at Misato, add 1 drink.
    Yells at Rei, add 1 drink.
    Yells at Gendo, add 2 drinks.
    Listens to any advice, add 2 drinks.
        ...and proceeds to follow it, add 1 drink.
    Brags about her piloting skill: Add 1 drink.
        …and gets clobbered by the next Angel: Add another.
    Slaps Shinji, add 1 drink.
        …because he deserved it, add 2 drinks.
        …if he hits her back, add 3 drinks.
    Has sex with somebody besides Shinji…
        …and it’s Touji or Kensuke, add 2 drinks.
        …and it’s a female, add 4 drinks.
    Actually kills an Angel by herself, add 4 drinks.

If Rei:
    Dies, add 1 drink.
        …2 if she doesn’t come back.
    Gets a personality, add 2 drinks.
        …if it’s normal, add 3 drinks.
        …if it’s insane, add 1 drink.
        …if it’s multiple, add 2 drinks.
    Refuses to follow Gendo’s orders, add 1 drink.
    Backtalks ANYBODY, add 2 drinks.
    Blinks, add 1 drink.
    Has sex with somebody besides Shinji or Asuka, add 1 drink.
        …and it’s female, add 1 drink.
        …and it’s Gendo, add 3 drinks and barf.
        …and it was her idea, add 2 drinks.

If Touji:
    Doesn’t get maimed by the 13th Angel, add 1 drink.
    If he DOES get maimed, add 2 drinks.
        ...4 if they give him a new arm and leg.
    Pilots Unit 03 in combat, add 2 drinks.
    Does ANYTHING kind towards Hikari, add 2 drinks.
    Does anything perverted towards another woman, add 1 drink.
    Talks in a funny accent, add 1 drink.

If Kensuke:
    Has any kind of major role, add 2 drinks.
    Whines about not getting to pilot, add 1 drink.
        ...2 if it's after Touji joins up.
    Gets to pilot his own Eva, add 1 drink.
        …if it’s Eva 03, add 2 drinks.
            …if he dies in the plug, add 4 drinks.
        …if it’s Eva 01, add 5 drinks.
    Has sex, add 8 drinks.
        …with Touji, hunt down and kill the author.

If Hikari:
    Goes on a date with Touji, add 1 drink.
    Goes on a date with somebody else, add 2 drinks.
        …if it’s to make him jealous, add 2 drinks.
        …if she’s serious, add 4 drinks.
        …if they become an item, add 6 drinks.
    Ever talks to her siblings, add 1 drink.
    Gets to pilot her own Eva, add 2 drinks.
        …if it’s Eva 03, add 1 drink.

If Misato:
    Drinks a beer, do NOT follow suit. (Again, that would kill any human.)
    Doesn’t have ANYTHING to drink, add 1 drink.
        …and doesn’t think about it, add 2 drinks.
    Drives poorly, add 1 drink.
    Cooks, and it's inedible, add 1 drink.
        ...and it IS edible, add 2 drinks.
    Has sex…
        ...with Kaji, add 1 drink.
        …with Shinji, add 2 drinks.
        ...with Hyuuga, add 4 drinks.
    Remembers her father, add 1 drink.
    Shoots somebody…
        …and it’s Kaji, add 2 drinks.
        …and it’s Gendo, add 4 drinks.
        …and it’s herself, have a six-pack in her memory.
    Ever figures out exactly what is going on, add 3 drinks.

If Ritsuko:
    Is evil, add 1 drink.
    Gives a mysterious explanation, add 2 drinks.
        …and you understand it, have another drink.
    Insults Misato’s cooking, add 1 drink.
    Has sex, add 1 drink.
        …and it’s NOT with Maya, add 2 drinks.

If Gendo:
    Is NOT evil, add 2 drinks.
    Explains himself to anybody but Fuyutsuki, add 4 drinks.
    Shows up for work wearing casual clothes, add 1 drink.
    Thinks about Yui, add 1 drink.
    Accepts Shinji as his son, add 2 drinks.
    Accepts Rei as his daughter, add 4 drinks.
    Has sex…
        …with Ritsuko, add 1 drink.
        …with Rei, add 3 drinks and barf. (Yes, this is a repeat. ^_^)
            …with an inanimate Rei body, add 10 drinks and barf twice.
    Wins, add 2 drinks.

If Fuyutsuki:
    Talks with somebody besides Gendo, add 1 drink.
    Thinks about Yui, add 2 drinks.
    Has something bad happen to him, add 4 drinks.
        ...6 if it kills him.
    Has sex, add 8 drinks and faint.

Eva Units

If any Eva:
    ...absorbs/starts acting like somebody, add 2 drinks.
    ...moves under its own power (not S2 type), add 1 drink.
    ...has sex... um, drink until you die. I think.

If Eva 01…
    Goes berserk, add 1 drink.
        …and eats the Angel, add 2 drinks.
            …four if it comments on the taste.
    Starts talking, add 3 drinks.
    Sends Shinji on a psychotic epsiode, add 2 drinks.
    Is destroyed, add 5 drinks.

If Eva 00…
    Goes berserk, add 1 drink.
        …and kills Ritsuko, add 3 drinks and smile.
    Changes color, add 2 drinks.
    Is destroyed, add 2 drinks.

If Eva 02…
    Goes berserk, add 4 drinks.
    Is piloted by anybody but Asuka, add 2 drinks and yell about it.
    Is heavily damaged, add 1 drink.

If Eva 03…
    ISN’T attacked by the 13th Angel the first time they turn it on, add 2 drinks.
        …four if it happens later. ^_^
    Goes berserk (aside from the above), add 2 drinks.
    Kills an Angel, add 3 drinks.

If Eva 04 appears, add 6 drinks.

If there is a NEW Eva unit, add 2 drinks.
    ...and it's piloted by Shinji, Asuka, or Rei, add 3 drinks.
    ...and it has a "cool new feature", add 1 drink.
    ...and it gets destroyed, add 3 drinks.

Fanfic Elements

If there is a new character…
    And it’s an Eva pilot, add 1 drink.
        …if it’s better than the others, add 2 drinks.
        …if it’s an Angel in disguise, add 3 drinks.
        …if it kills an Angel, add 4 drinks.
    And it’s a Seele agent, add 2 drinks.
    And it’s an old boyfriend of Misato’s, add 1 drink.

If the author inserts himself or herself…
    And is an Eva pilot, add 1 drink.
        …2 if Eva 01.
        …2 if Eva 00.
        …3 if Eva 03.
        …4 if Eva 02.
    And is NOT an Eva pilot, add 2 drinks.
    And knows about the HCP, add 4 drinks.
        …and doesn’t intend to stop it, add 8 drinks. ^_^
    And is an Angel, add 4 drinks.
        …6 if it wins.
    And has sex…
        …with Misato, add 1 drink.
        …with Ritsuko, add 2 drinks.
        …with Asuka, Hikari, or Maya, add 3 drinks.
        …with Touji or Kensuke, add 2 drinks.
        …with Shinji, add 2 drinks.
            …8 if it’s a guy.
    And dies, add 2 drinks.

If it’s a crossover…
    …with Ranma, add 1 drink.
        …if Ranma’s the pilot of 01, add 2 drinks.
        …if he’s NOT, add 4 drinks.
            …if it’s Ryoga, quit reading my fic. <g>
    …with another Takahashi work, add 4 drinks.
        …6 if Godai becomes a pilot.
        …8 if Lum is an Angel.
    …with Ah! Megami-sama, add 3 drinks.
        …6 if Belldandy is an Angel.
    …with Tenchi Muyo, add 4 drinks.
        …8 if Tenchi’s not an Eva pilot.
    …with YuYu Hakusho, add 10 drinks.
    …with DB/DBZ, add 2 drinks.
        …and somebody doesn’t ki blast an Angel, add 4 drinks.
        …and the DB characters ARE the Angels, add 3 drinks.
     …with Battle Angel, add 4 drinks.
        …if they don’t destroy Tiphares, add 6 drinks.
    …with Marmalade Boy, add 2 drinks.
        …and Rei is NOT fused with Arimi, add 10 drinks and pass out from shock.
    …with Robert Jordan, add 8 drinks. <eg>
    …with Sailor Moon, add 3 drinks.
        …6 if the Senshi become pilots.
        …if the Senshi fight the Eva, add 4 drinks.
            …if all of them survive, add 8 drinks.

If you have any suggestions, proposed additions, or the like, mail me at with them, okay? Naturally, flames will be used to warm my house in the winter. Suits charging me with responsibility for any actual damage done by anybody dumb enough to drink with this game (especially through something like Evanjellydonut) should be mailed physically and printed on soft, fluffy toilet tissue. Money I'll take straight, of course.