Misato hummed to herself as she eased the microwave containers onto the table. She’d only been home for a few minutes, and Rei, Asuka, and Ryoga should make it in any time now. Funny, how after such a long day they’d all insisted that walking home would be better than driving with her. She almost suspected that they were saying something about her driving skills. Oh, well, it wasn’t important, especially after a long day. Finally, the technicians had everybody’s power working again, and life could return to normal. Or at least until the NEXT Angel showed up. Misato ran a hand across her forehead. It had been very embarrassing to find out that she’d missed an entire Angel attack because she was stuck in an elevator with Kaji. And the looks she had received from Ritsuko! It would have been bad enough if something had happened, not that something could have happened, of course... but Misato was COMPLETELY innocent. She fished half a dozen beers out of the fridge, placing one at Ryoga’s place, one at Asuka’s, and the other four at her own. Another minute found a clean glass filled with ice water sitting in front of Rei’s noodle mix. After placing out a bit of silverware, everything would be ready... She heard a thumping sound coming down the hallway, as if somebody were in quite a hurry to get inside... hm. That instant curry did smell good. She couldn’t blame them. The door opened, and Ryoga tossed his pack in the corner of the entry as he stripped off his shoes. He was talking to somebody... "Hey, Ryoga, come on in, dinner’s ready!" He ducked into the kitchen. "Sure, in a second. Um..." He scratched at the back of his head. "I brought a friend home. You mind?" She shot Ryoga a flat look. "No, although it would have been nice for you to tell me before I left. I’ll just pop in another one." She snatched a frozen dinner from her freezer and shoveled it into the microwave. From next door, or what would have been next door if Ryoga hadn’t opened a door of his own, she could hear Rei and Asuka coming in. Well, she could hear Asuka and somebody who wasn’t talking much... same difference. And somebody else was in the entry, now. He followed Ryoga into the kitchen. Looked like a nice sort, in a rough way. VERY nice vest. Earrings, little, and in both ears. Loops, not studs. His hair looked like somebody had just tousled it, though. Overall, he was just a shade too pretty to be considered handsome. And he had a pair of hose wrapped around his waist. "Young man, do you ALWAYS use women’s undergarments as a fashion accessory?" --- Paradise Lost, part 14 Fan Fiction by Andy Kent All characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi or Gainax, respectively --- He smiled, and there was no warmth in that smile. It was a smile that reminded you that smiling was really just an old reflex that bared the teeth... She would have called it an evil smile if Gendo had smiled it. "Well, since you ask so nicely, oh great and honored host, yes. And I have my reasons." He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "Be nice, Tarou. This is Misato Katsuragi. Misato, Tarou." She waited... "Tarou what?" "Tarou will suffice." "Whatever. Hey, Ryoga, how does Tarou rate a visit home?" Asuka walked into the kitchen and slid into her seat at the table. "Oh, joy... instant again." Ryoga dropped into the seat next to her. "What, did you really expect anything else?" "Well, she could have ordered out for pizza, at least." Asuka grimly picked up her fork and started in on her meal. Misato looked up from the microwave door as Rei came in. She sat down and looked at her noodles with something less than enthusiasm. Of course, that was perfectly normal for Rei. She sipped at her water and looked at Ryoga. The timer went off, and Misato grabbed the cup of noodles out of the microwave. "Well, here you go, Tarou... um..." Hmm... she hadn’t thought of this problem when she had moved in. "We’re all out of chairs. Mind noshing?" "I have no idea what "noshing" means, but the counter’s perfectly fine." "Well, sure." She slid the noodles down towards Tarou and opened the fridge. "Beer?" Tarou looked at the table. "Since when do you drink beer, porker?" Ryoga snorted. "You learn fast around here, I suppose." "And Asuka? Aren’t you a bit young for that sort of thing?" "She’s GERMAN, Tarou." "Ah... explains everything." Misato lobbed the beer at Tarou, who plucked it out of the air with one hand, without looking up from the table. "Well, drink up." Tarou started, looked at the can in his hand, shook his head. "No, I don’t think so." "Come on, don’t be shy..." Asuka popped the tab on hers and took a gulp. "Besides, you’ll need it to wash down her cooking." "Should I consider that fair warning? I don’t need alcohol." He flipped the can back to Misato. Didn’t need alcohol? What a prude. "Whatever." She grabbed a Coke from the fridge and passed it to him. At least SOMEBODY would drink the stuff. It took up room in the fridge that could otherwise house beer. Rei finished her water and set the glass down. She hadn’t touched her noodles... "Hey, come on, Rei, eat up. There’s no meat in it..." "I..." Rei looked up at her, blinked once. "I had noodles for lunch." "Are you saying something about the quality of my noodles?" "Um... yes." Tarou expertly rolled noodles over his fork and popped it into his mouth. A cloud passed over his features, and he set it back down. "Do..." He erupted into a violent fit of coughing. "You wouldn’t happen to know a young girl named Akane Tendo, would you?" "I can’t believe this! I have to put up with this day in, day out from Ryoga... and now all of you? If you people can’t quit insulting my cooking, maybe I’ll just leave you to your own for dinner!" Misato thought about stomping her foot, decided that it would be unnecessary. Asuka’s face lit up. "Really? You’re sure? All right!" Tarou turned to look at Ryoga. "You haven’t said anything." "Think about it. It’s not nearly as bad as Akane’s cooking, and I can eat that..." Ryoga bolted the remainder of his dinner. "So this stuff’s not so bad after all." "Well, never let it be said that I was out-toughed by the pig-boy..." Tarou picked his fork back up and attacked his noodles with a vengeance. Misato rolled her eyes. Well, at least they were eating... "You’d have problems out-toughing Ryoga, Tarou. He even kills Angels." "No kidding." Tarou took a long gulp of his soda. "Just what the hell was that thing? And why couldn’t I hit it? Some kind of field thing kept getting in the way." "AT field." Ryoga snickered. "Yeah, right, you told me that." Misato finished her beer and opened another one. "Exactly why were you trying to hit the Angel, Tarou? Something personal? I can understand that." She fingered her cross-shaped pendant. "Not really, it just kept trying to step on me. What ELSE was I going to do?" "Let me get this straight. The Angel was trying to kill YOU? Specifically? And you’re still here?" She shook her head. "Not likely. Tell me another one." Tarou chuckled. "Maybe I’m not so far behind in the toughness competition, after all. Which reminds me..." He turned towards Ryoga. "The next time you get what you think is a bright idea, pig-boy, mind running it by me first?" "Worked, didn’t it?" "Wait a minute. WHAT worked?" Misato cursed the time she’d lost in that elevator... nothing was making any sense here. Rei spoke up. "Ryoga threw his canteen at Tarou and turned him into a big... furry... I’m not sure what they’re called." Tarou spoke with the tone of somebody who was repeating something for the umpteenth time. "Yeti-riding-bull-holding-crane-and-eel. With tentacles." Okay, no way, she wasn’t falling for this one. "Ryoga, I can’t believe you’d use Rei like that, trying for a joke. It’s not funny, you know." "Um... Misato... it’s true." She turned to see Asuka smiling and pointing her fork at Tarou. "When he got wet, he became this really big winged monster." "Oh, and I suppose he held off the Angel by himself?" "I’m not sure... we went to go get Eva." Ryoga drained his beer. Tarou snorted. "You mean you took off down the tunnel where I couldn’t follow, to save your own neck while I had to put up with that reject from a lousy monster movie." "Well, that too." "Whoa! Hold on for a minute. Tarou, exactly HOW do you turn into... whatever you turn into?" He turned and smiled. He had the most EVIL smile. "I would think that living with Ryoga for a while would have educated you about the finer points of the Jusenkyo curse." "Huh? Curse? What curse?" She trailed off, listened... thought for a second... "Ryoga... do you have something that you want to tell me?" She hadn’t turned toward him, but she heard a strangled squeak. "Um, no." Tarou tossed his soda can in the air, caught it again. "That’s okay, pig-boy, we can always just show her." Rei started chuckling. "Um... er... uh... oh hell. I..." Ryoga continued in a very small voice. "I turn into a little black pig when I get hit with cold water." "Wait a minute. Would SOMEBODY mind explaining what the HELL you’re all talking about?" She pointed at Tarou. "Here, you start. What’s this about curses?" "Certainly." Tarou crossed his arms, the shining bracers throwing an interesting reflection pattern on the ceiling. "There’s a little valley in China called Jusenkyo. It’s full of tiny springs, and they’re all magical. You fall in one, you get cursed. All the curses are different." "Then..." She looked at Ryoga. "You fell in the spring of little black pigs?" "Actually..." He coughed once. "It’s the spring of drowned black pig, but yes." "Okay, thank you, may I continue? Ahem. The curse changes your physical form, but not your mind. Cold water activates it, and hot water negates it. Did you follow that?" Misato nodded. "I think so... Exactly when were you going to tell me this, Ryoga?" Tarou answered for him. "Given what I know of pig-boy, that would be shortly after Hell sets up a snow-cone concession. He’s rather shy about it, for some reason or another." Asuka looked up. "Well, it’s not like YOU have to turn into a little pig." "No, I just turn into a walking abomination that frightens young children. It doesn’t matter; I’ve done this my whole life. Not MY fault if not everybody can adjust." Misato was still reeling a little bit. "WHY would you fall in a magic spring anyway, Ryoga?" "I was pushed." He shot Tarou a dirty look. "And would you lay off? After all, if we’re laying out dirty laundry here, I’ve got an article of clothing in mind." Misato nudged Rei. "He really turns into a pig?" "Yes." Rei blinked. "I told him that he should tell you, in case you needed to know, but he told me not to tell anybody." Tarou ignored the two. "Look, if it wasn’t for that old lecher, I wouldn’t have my problem!" "And if it wasn’t for..." Misato’s head snapped back up. "Would you two KNOCK IT OFF?! Tarou, you have a problem with Ryoga turning into a pig? Ryoga, what the hell are YOU talking about?" She opened another beer. "And if you tell me that Asuka turns into something, I’ll smack you." Asuka pulled a small hammer from behind her chair. "That’s not even funny, Misato." "NO, I don’t have a problem with him turning into a pig! I just have a problem with him WHINING about it!" "That’s enough!" Ryoga leapt to his feet. "Oh, you want to start something, pig-boy? I’m game." Tarou’s fists curled, oddly. "At least I’m not the one with the underwear fetish, PANTYHOSE." Ryoga sneered the last word, which seemed to drive Tarou into a rage. "You bastard!" Tarou dived across the table... only to be met by Asuka’s mallet. He swatted it aside, contemptuously... And pulled up, his nose two inches from the end of Rei’s gun. His eyes crossed as the focused on the barrel. "Look, girl, if you don’t put that away, I’ll take it from you." Misato jumped up, hard enough to send her chair flying across the room. "THAT’S IT!" She reached over, grabbed the back of Tarou’s vest, and pulled him off the table. Over her shoulder, she barked, "Rei! Put that thing away! Didn’t we talk to you about that kind of thing?" Rei shrugged and replaced the gun in its holster. She could have been smiling, although it was much more likely just a muscle spasm. Even for Rei, that wasn’t much of a smile. Misato turned, stared right at Tarou. "And exactly WHY did you decide to wait to get in a fight with MY best Eva pilot," ignoring the "HEY!" from Asuka... "in MY apartment, after eating MY dinner..." She paused to take a breath. "Without answering MY question?" Tarou stared right back. "You heard him! He called me... PANTYHOSE." He averted his eyes on the last word. Misato shrugged. "Well, I’ll admit, it’s not the most creative insult I’ve ever heard, but that’s no reason to fly off the handle." "You don’t understand..." Tarou slumped against the wall. Ryoga smiled, tight-lipped. "Well? If you don’t tell her, I can." Asuka looked at Rei. "Didn’t we just see this?" "Um, no..." Rei blinked, once. "It’s..." Tarou’s shoulders shook. "It’s my given NAME, damn it!" Misato let go of his vest. "You’re joking." "Not about that." Tarou’s eyes were squeezed shut. "Ryoga has his curse, and I have mine. There it is. Happy?" "Um... yeah..." Misato could feel herself smiling despite herself. "It’s really Pantyhose?" "Pantyhose Tarou. Now could we just drop it?" She started laughing. "Wait a minute... why the HELL are you..." He lunged forward, grabbing her by the lapels of her jacket. Hey! "It’s because of that idiot pervert Happosai, that’s why! It’s his fault!" His reaction stopped her laughter. "And what are you about to do?" Tarou started, looked up, glanced down momentarily, and hurriedly released her jacket. "Better. I’m sorry I laughed." "Happosai? Isn’t that the old man?" Tarou turned away from Misato, looked at Asuka. "You’ve seen him? About two feet tall, almost bald, white hair, wrinkles, ugly as sin?" "Little ninja outfit? Yeah, he was at the dojo." "Figures. Well, Ryoga, at least you’re better off than fem-boy." Tarou chuckled. "Am not." Ryoga started laughing, too. "Fem-boy? You guys are starting to scare me." Misato picked her chair back up and sat down. "Who’s fem-boy?" "Heh. He fell in the spring of drowned girl." How horrible! "Look, could everybody just calm down?" Misato looked at her watch. "It’s two in the morning, for goodness’ sake. I’m going to get some sleep... then, in the morning, YOU, Tarou, are going to NERV with me." She briefly wondered if he ever got tired of chuckling like that. "I do assume that you have a good reason for asking me so nicely." "Simple, Tarou. You fought an Angel today, and you’re not dead. That means we can learn something about it, and maybe we don’t all die the next time. Okay?" She had another few reasons, but kept those to herself. "I suppose it couldn’t hurt." He unfolded his arms, stuck out a hand. "I’ll borrow the couch for tonight, then." She took his hand, shook it. It had calluses in unusual places along the fingers. "Well, this has been amusing, but she has a good point. It’s late, and I personally don’t see any reason to stay awake any longer. Good night." He walked over to Rei. "Good night, Pantyhose." Rei stood up... to find Tarou standing directly in front of her, fists cocked. "What, do you find my name amusing, little girl?" She stared at him. "No... it’s a name. A verbal designation for a human. Why WOULD it be funny?" She blinked once. He took a step back, and the tension in his shoulders melted away. "Now that is a refreshing outlook on life. I’ll forgive you, this time." He left the room. --- Ryoga turned over and threw his pillow against the headboard. Huh. Normally, he didn’t have problems sleeping. Of course, normally he didn’t have to face his curse being exposed in front of everybody. Well, Misato anyway... and she would have found out sooner or later, he supposed... Well, sitting here and sulking wasn’t going to make him fall asleep. Especially when he couldn’t hear Tarou’s snoring for the rumbling in his belly. Late night snack? Ah, why not... He pulled on a shirt and pants and headed for the door. And found the bathroom. Oh, boy... this could get VERY embarrassing if his luck wasn’t in. Was his luck EVER in, when it came to finding things? Probably not, he recalled. *[Hey, kid.]* Ryoga chuckled. Yeah? *[Looking for the kitchen?]* Yeah. So? Ryoga thought that the voice in his head was being unusually dim tonight. *[Turn right... okay, now go straight. Keep going... stop. Turn left. A couple of steps... there ya go.]* Ryoga followed the directions and looked at the kitchen counter. Hey! THAT was a darned useful insanity. He quickly thought a "thanks" before opening the pantry. He rummaged around, managed to find a box of chocolate bars in the back. That should be just fine. Turning back around, he saw Penpen standing on the floor next to him. The penguin opened its mouth, let forth a single "wark", and waddled to its own fridge. "You know, you’re making quite a racket." Tarou leaned against the doorframe. "If I’d been sleeping, it would have been messy." Ryoga snorted. "You normally snore like that when you don’t sleep?" "Fool. I don’t snore even when I DO sleep." Tarou glanced down at Ryoga’s arms. "What’s in the box, pig-boy?" Ryoga sat down at the kitchen table, motioned for Tarou to do likewise. "Chocolate. I figured that I’d need some edible food after dinner." Tarou flopped into the chair opposite Ryoga. "I don’t see how somebody that can’t cook INSTANT food can be in charge around here. How hard can it be?" "Yeah... normally I do most of the cooking." "What, when you’re not off riding around in that metal skeleton, pig- boy?" Ryoga frowned. Enough was enough. "Would you knock it off with the wisecracks about my curse, huh?" "Why? You’re so funny when you’re annoyed." Tarou grinned and made motions with his eyebrows. "Hm... you’re right, PANTYHOSE." Two could play at that game. "HEY, none of that now. It’s completely different." Tarou motioned at the box. "Share the wealth, pi... boy." Well, give him credit for trying. "Of course it’s different. You beat up Happosai, and you’re in the clear. I’m stuck like this." Tarou snorted. "Hop in the spring of drowned man, and your curse is gone, not that I’d want that myself. At least your solution works the first time." Ryoga flipped a bar to Tarou. "Maybe it’s not so different." "You mean aside from the good looks, sense of direction, and lack of attachments to Ranma’s fiancée?" "Scratch that last part." Ryoga ripped open one of the bars and bit in. Hm... tasty. "I’m over her." "Really?" Tarou raised an eyebrow. "I figured you as the persistent type." "It’s complicated... but safer this way, really. And I would very much appreciate you NOT mentioning my curse in front of her, okay? That wasn’t part of the deal." "Hm... do they HAVE to use two wrappers on these?" Tarou freed his chocolate bar and took an experimental bite. "Hey, this isn’t bad. To be honest... boy... I don’t really care one way or the other. But we can deal. I don’t go spreading around that you’re somebody’s precious P- chan... and YOU don’t give my full name out to everybody who asks for an introduction. Got it?" Ryoga could live with that. "Fine. I don’t see why you told us in the first place, though." "I believe that had more than a little to do with a certain soon-to-be- deceased lecher of our mutual acquaintance. Also, I need some way to stop your little fan club from letting the cat out of the bag, so to speak." "My fan club? Oh." He had to be talking about Rei and Asuka. "Rei’s no problem. She really doesn’t tend to volunteer information anyway." "She’s the albino, right? I still can’t believe that she didn’t think my name was funny." Tarou frowned. "Of course, I still don’t want her calling me that." "Try asking. She didn’t tell anybody about my curse, and she had a good reason to do it. Asuka, you can use physical intimidation on her." Ryoga polished off his chocolate and grabbed another. Tarou smiled. "Ah, I believe I can handle that one. What about the lush?" "Misato’s no problem. Just tell her very nicely that you’d much rather be called plain old Tarou, and then break something by accident." It might even work. "Think you can handle that?" "Probably." Tarou took another bite of chocolate. "So, what the hell is going on, anyway? I mean, if I had to pick three people to pilot big robots, I’m perfectly sure you wouldn’t be one of them." "Well, thanks a lot. I don’t know, really. Asuka said something about you having to be fourteen years old to pilot one, and that’s why they use her and Rei." "You’re NOT fourteen, so that’s out the window." "I’d noticed." Come to think of it, why HAD he been picked? "Probably because of Dad, then. He runs the whole thing. Misato’s boss." "That explains a few things. Well, what do they want with ME, then?" Tarou flexed an arm and yawned. "I guess they want to find out why you’re not dead. Most of the guys at NERV don’t get out much. I let off one little ki blast and they get all bent out of shape." Well, two or three, but still! "Wimp. Real men fight with their fists. What, that was almost two weeks ago?" Tarou coughed. "Yeah." "Thought it might have been you. I’d never seen the sun dawn at midnight, especially in the south, and it’s not GREEN most of the time either. Must have been a whopper." "I dunno, maybe the Eva made it bigger? It worked." "Yeah, what’s with you calling it "Eva", anyway? Couldn’t come up with a cool acronym?" "They don’t tell me this stuff." Ryoga wadded the wrappers into a small ball and stuffed them into the garbage can. "I just get in and move it around. NOT pleasant, let me tell you." "Eh? What, is the widdle pilot afraid of getting bounced around in his widdle Eva?" "Shut up. You don’t have any idea. It feels just like the Eva is YOU. Ever had your arm broken in half?" Ryoga reflexively twitched the muscles in his left arm. "I’d almost forgotten what it felt like, that kind of pain." "And you get in there anyway." "Well... everybody says that if we screw up, it’s the end of the world." Tarou nodded. "Whatever... how do they keep you around? I’d think that you wander off pretty easily." "You’d be right. They stick me in a classroom and bore me for eight hours a day. Let me tell you, it stinks." Ryoga yawned. Maybe eating something had done the trick; he felt more sleepy already. "Speaking of that, I’m going to get some sleep. See you in the morning." Tarou pushed his chair back and grabbed Ryoga’s collar. "Here, I think you could use a hand finding your bed. After all, nobody’s going to get any sleep if you stumble into the wrong room by accident." "Hey, thanks." Well, maybe. "Could you not hold it so tight?" --- "Ahh!" Misato inhaled deeply. "That’s the way to wake up in the morning." After another gulp of beer, she turned to look at breakfast. Eggs, again. "Hey, Ryoga, exactly what do you have against having ham for breakfast?" "It creeps me out." Ryoga opened his mouth and bolted an entire fried egg. Speaking around the food, he mumbled, "It feels like cannibalism, you know." Tarou looked at Ryoga, back at Misato, rolled his eyes, and then started eating his own breakfast. "Whatever." "Well, eat up. We need to leave for NERV fairly soon." Misato pitched her voice higher. "Hey, Asuka!" She heard a muffled grunt from the next apartment. "You’re on watch today, so no class. Come on or you’ll miss the ride!" Tarou swallowed, nodded approvingly, and then frowned. "Misato, could you remind me exactly WHY I’m going with you today? I’d just as soon finish my business here and never see this city again." Well, THAT wasn’t a very positive attitude. She decided to take the humorous approach. "Well, Tarou-kun, since nobody’s ever actually walked up and touched one of the Angels before, we need to know if your head is going to explode or not, and if so, how long you’ve got." Misato didn’t quite manage to keep the smile off of her face. Tarou choked for a second, then glared at Ryoga. "If my head explodes because of this, I’m going to be very upset with you." She started laughing... so did Tarou, and Ryoga wasn’t very far behind. "I understand the point, though. I trust that I’ll be compensated for my time?" "Yeah, yeah, I invited you into my HOME, didn’t I?" Misato waved a hand in a dismissing gesture. "Probably it’ll just be some paperwork and a free medical checkup." At the word "paperwork", Tarou paled slightly. Asuka walked in and took the fourth seat at the table. "My day today? Great. I can’t STAND listening to the same boring Second Impact lecture day after day. I almost feel sorry for you, Ryoga." "Lecture? School? RYOGA?" Tarou tilted back in his chair from the force of his laughter, teetered on the edge for a second, and returned it to the floor. "Didn’t expect THAT." "Tell me about it. It’s enough to drive you crazy." Ryoga stood up and pushed his chair in. Picking up his dishes and dumping them in the sink, he said, "Well, if I’m not wrong, I ought to be going. You know, it’s nice to be on time for something for once in my life. I’ll just grab Rei and we’ll get going." Tarou snickered. "Careful on your placement, pig-boy." Ryoga’s ears colored pink as he turned to leave the room. Asuka chuckled, and Misato couldn’t help but follow suit. Ah, today felt like a good day, already. --- Tarou stepped out of the car. He turned, glared at Misato, and said, "I am NEVER getting in one of those hellish devices again. It amazes me that you haven’t managed to kill yourself by now, and I’d try to stop you if I actually worried about any of the other poor saps in this city that might have to share a ROAD with you." Asuka looked up. "Isn’t that a bit harsh? After all, she was on the left side of the road the whole time!" By the tone of Asuka’s statement, or what tone he could read past her German accent, anyway, that meant that usually Misato didn’t manage to keep her car on the correct side of the road. "Look, even I can figure out what you’re supposed to do when you see a sign that says "STOP" on it." Misato stepped out of the car and reached into the back seat, producing a long, wrapped package. "Well, then, Tarou, I suggest that you DO so!" The three crowded into an elevator and descended into NERV. Tarou shot a quizzical glance at Misato, grunted "where" when that had no effect, and finally gave up and said, "Where are we going now?" Some people just couldn’t read body language. "I’m going to run you past Ritsuko once on the way in. We’ll ask you some questions, take a few readings, a blood sample, that sort of thing." Misato shrugged. "A bit routine. I hope you don’t get bored." "Blood sample? What for?" "I’m not the doctor! I imagine that it gets analyzed so they can get your blood typing and such." Tarou grunted. "I want the sample back when they’re done with it." No sense in taking chances, after all. Misato turned to Asuka. "We don’t really have anything on the agenda for you, Asuka, so find someplace and light for a few hours, okay?" "I think I’ll watch you guys." Asuka grinned maliciously. "Should be more interesting than just watching old movies, after all." THAT wasn’t exactly what he suspected. Tarou had noted certain things in Asuka’s posture, her eye movements, and such, and had halfway expected her to find some excuse to remain with him. He allowed himself a moment of vanity before addressing the manner of her request. And that was just it. She hadn’t made the expected self-depreciating request to follow along, nor any kind of apologetic crap about not wanting to be a bother. A simple statement of intent, that’s what it had been. Nice, to the point, and from the tone Asuka didn’t doubt that she would do exactly that. It was something HE might have done. He didn’t notice himself falling into an uncharacteristic smile. He did notice that he liked Asuka’s style. --- Misato left the two in Ritsuko’s office, after obtaining a promise that Tarou would be handled from there, and an additional one concerning any samples they happened to draw. Paranoid mystical nonsense, Ritsuko had argued. Of course, once Tarou started cracking his knuckles and stretching, Ritsuko had admitted that a little consideration for Tarou’s odd belief system was in order. After the short trip back to her own office, she plopped down in her chair and began to assault the piles of paperwork that, for one reason or another, demanded the attention of the Operations Commander of NERV. --- Six hours later, she yawned and leaned back. The mountain of official reports had become a neatly stacked molehill in her out box. Sure, it wasn’t the most productive day in the world, but it did serve to break up the Angel attacks, she mused. Besides, it was restful work. A knock sounded on her door. "Come on in," she said. The company would be nice, something to interrupt the monotony before she finished the last of her tasks for the day. The door opened, and Kaji walked in. Walked, NOT sauntered. Misato immediately closed the file she had been leafing through and gestured for him to close the door. One look on his face told her that he had something important... he wasn’t smiling, not even a little. And he hadn’t combed his hair, either. She knew exactly how much effort Kaji invested in maintaining his image of a rough fellow, and it was obvious that he hadn’t been investing that effort lately. He raised one arm, in which he had tucked a manila envelope. With a toss, he flung it to an open spot at the center of her desk, and then sank to one of other chairs she kept in the office. "What is it, Kaji? You find some results on that girl?" "Read." He wouldn’t look up at her. That was bad, she couldn’t ever remember him not being able to look up and crack a joke with her. She opened the envelope and withdrew a small sheaf of papers. It was a dossier on somebody. The particular somebody was plainly obvious, considering that Kaji had thoughtfully attached a rather nice photograph of a girl with red hair in a bobbed ponytail. She seemed to be a pleasant sort... the picture had been cropped too much to make anything of the background, though. Some kind of wooden panels, and grass... She removed the photograph and skimmed down the initial report. It seemed that he’d actually begun to search a few days before she herself had asked... at Ritsuko’s request. Makes sense, Misato thought, since Ritsuko HAD taken a nasty hit that night. She flipped through a few observation logs and the like (mostly centered around a place identified as the Tendo Dojo), and came to the actual meat of the report. She let her eyes rove over the report, looking for anything inconsistent with the rest... height, weight, and probable measurements were all right. Daily activities... probable motivations... she saw the name Ranma flash by, recalled Ryoga’s admission that she had indeed been Ranma, continued on. And then returned to the name. She lowered the papers to her desk, unaware of her shaking hands. "Kaji, I want you to leave NOW. The only reason that I don’t kill you where you stand... hell, I can’t particularly think of a good one, but I won’t kill you anyway. You KNEW that this is beyond the pale." Kaji swallowed and did not look up. "I didn’t believe it. I checked with every source I could find. Double-checked. If somebody is snowing me, we’re screwed to begin with; this kind of misinformation, from so many sources, would take HUGE resources to spread. Especially on an off-chance hunt like this one. And as to the other... you know me better than that. I wouldn’t have handed you that if I didn’t believe what was on it. I almost didn’t anyway, but you have a right to know." Misato blinked, looked back down at the paper, at the characters for "Saotome" in the name of the young girl. "It has to be a coincidence. It HAS to be." Kaji shook his head and glanced up, eyes dark with worry. "Age, blood type, appearance, they all match up. And it’s beyond a doubt that the girl’s father is named Genma Saotome, and that she is his only child." He bowed his head. "I don’t understand it either." "My son. That’s... my son in the picture?" Misato grabbed the photo and raised it, taking in the features. "That... that bastard Genma, he took my son and raised him... to be THIS? A cross-dressing pervert?" The edges of her vision went blurry, and she didn’t identify the source as her tears until they started to dampen the rest of the papers on her desk. "It can’t be true. Look at her! It CAN’T be true!" Kaji winced, reached into his jacket. "No, it isn’t true." He removed another packet, much smaller, from inside the jacket and handed it to her. "That’s not cross-dressing." She felt her eyes go wide at the implications, tore the packet in two in her haste to open it. Inside were photographs... very... explicit... photographs... Kaji continued. "Those came from multiple sources, multiple cameras, multiple times. I don’t think that they were faked. Under the circumstances, I just thank God that she was alone in them." "Alone? ALONE?! How can you even SAY that? My son... he’s posing in women’s underwear! AND THEY FIT! He’s... he’s..." Misato dropped the photos and buried her head in her hands. "He’s... a she, Misato. As nearly as I could tell, you have a healthy teenage daughter." Kaji reached across the desk to her... and she knocked his hand away. Lurching to her feet, she took two steps back from the desk, her hand reaching for the object she knew was in that corner. "It’s NOT the end, damn it!" Misato grabbed the object, clutching it in both hands as if it could drive off the disaster that had just happened. "I... I made a vow, Kaji. WE made a vow. And now... I thought that maybe he was dead, that the Impact had taken him and his father like it took mine... but, I can’t face this. WE MADE A VOW!" She saw him flinch from the force of her shouting. She had buried her son. Not his physical body, of course, but any thoughts that she had of him were of the type you reserved for dead relatives. It had been necessary; her worthless, good-for-nothing ex-husband had done everything in his power to make her life a living hell, in the few short years they had been married, and she couldn't bear to recall them both, couldn't manage to forget the father and remember the son. Blinking back her tears, she steeled herself. "You know what I have to do, Kaji." He shook his head, opened his mouth to protest, but she kept speaking. "You KNOW!" She glanced down at the moist paper, the one with the name of her son and the image of her daughter, and read a single line. "If I’m not back by tonight, tell Ryoga." She tore the door to her office open and slammed it behind her, leaving a stunned Kaji inside. She broke into a run as she headed for the elevator, her emotions a whirl, but her purpose clear... she would fulfill her vow. --- Asuka sat down at the corner of the waiting room and watched Tarou out of the corner of her eye. He couldn’t seem to keep still, pacing up and down and glaring at anything that moved. He couldn’t be nervous about all those tests, could he? Nah. Tarou wasn’t the nervous type, she thought. The more she saw, the more she liked. He was in top physical form, didn’t have any problems with moving through the pilot’s obstacle course. Faster than the proverbial bat out of hell, actually. He asked intelligent questions and seemed to know when Ritsuko was being evasive or outright lying. The looks were nice, an intriguing mix of hard lines and an almost feminine grace. He had confidence, was aware of his limits. And he had the cutest vulnerability... Asuka couldn’t see why he didn’t just change his name, especially as he couldn’t recall any family to contradict him. She’d even asked him, obliquely, and he’d said something about honor and doing things the proper way, then snorted and said that it’d be more fun just to beat a new one out of Happosai anyway. In a word, NICE. She considered several other complimentary adjectives, but decided that nice pretty much summed it up. She considered his lack of comment as a good sign, since she recognized that she must have been showing SOME signs, and she dearly hoped that he was observant enough to pick them up. Kaji had been fun, especially back in Germany where they’d been almost isolated from their native culture. He was smart, witty, and more than willing to play along... but now, even a moron like Ryoga should have seen how he felt about Misato, and that was real. She couldn’t even begrudge him. After all, for all her effort, she was STILL fairly young. And he’d had something going with Misato before, it was obvious. It did leave her in the lurch, though. Yes, Tarou was handsome, he was buff, he was bright, and most of all, he was convenient. At least today. She grinned to herself and watched him stalk back and forth. Just like the typical man, he was afraid of the doctor’s office as well. Tarou sat down at the couch across from her and grimaced. "Do YOU know why it’s taking them so long?" He waved a hand at the door. "I shouldn’t have agreed to this." "Well, have you considered that there’s a lot of other, IMPORTANT things that go on around here? They probably just don’t care all that much." Asuka grinned evilly. Tarou chuckled. "Ah. Occam’s Razor." "No, the simplest explanation would be that they are just plain late." He managed to stop fidgeting. "Well, I wish they’d get off their collective rear ends and hurry up. Do you know what kind of things that can be done to you with a small blood or tissue sample?" Asuka hadn’t ever wondered about that, to be honest. If he was scared... "Uh... no. Why, are they bad?" "You could say that." He chuckled and glanced at the door. "I’m not inclined to take the risk, myself." "You know..." Asuka was thinking out loud now. "I bet they’ve got ALL kinds of stuff from me somewhere. Should I be worried?" "Well, I’m not sure." Tarou grinned, not without malice. "Do your enemies usually use mystical means to attack you?" "No..." She sighed. "They just try to blow up the city." He blinked at that, then smiled. "I guess you might call it that..." "I wouldn’t worry." "You ARE worrying." Asuka stuck her tongue out at him. "Stupid. Nobody uses voodoo nowadays." Both of them started as the doorknob turned... Kaji crashed through, his face dark beyond gray. "Asuka! Misato... she’s gone. We’ve got to stop her!" Tarou cocked an eyebrow. "I assume that she’s about to do something drastic, or you wouldn’t bother with the melodrama." "Who the hell are you?" Kaji looked over Tarou for a second. "Screw it. Asuka, Misato’s going after her s... daughter. We’ve got to stop her before she kills somebody." "What?" Asuka tried to follow Kaji’s line of reasoning, failed. "Whatever. Come on, you can explain. Where’s she headed?" "The Tendo dojo, probably. Ranma will most likely be there." Tarou was on his feet before Asuka. "I’ll take you there. What the hell does this have to do with fem-boy, anyway?" "FEM-BOY? What, you know Ranma?" Kaji motioned to the elevators. "She’s probably only a minute or two ahead of us. We’ll catch her if we hurry." --- Rei walked down the street toward the dojo. "What do you mean, don’t call him Pantyhose?" Ryoga sighed. "He doesn’t like to be called Pantyhose, that’s why." "But it’s his NAME." Rei didn’t understand what Ryoga was trying to say. "I shouldn’t call him by his name?" "As far as I’m concerned, his name is Tarou. The Pantyhose bit was added on by Happosai back when he was a baby." "Then why does he worry about it?" Ryoga shrugged. "Most people think that somebody named Pantyhose is funny. They hear it and laugh at him, and he doesn’t like being laughed at. Especially by people that he thinks aren’t as good as him." "Aren’t as good? What’s that supposed to mean?" The concept sounded odd to Rei. "I’m not up to explaining that one. Just call him Tarou." Ryoga looked up from the road. "It’ll make him happy." --- Kaji slung his car around the corner, at least twenty kilometers per hour over what would have been a safe speed, and fifty over the legal limit. He wasn’t paying attention to the road, though. "What do you mean, Ranma’s a guy?" Tarou chuckled from the passenger seat. "I see how you could have been mistaken... but yes, he’s male." Kaji removed one hand from the steering wheel and made gestures at his chest level. "Then how do you explain... well..." "Jusenkyo curse. He turns into a girl with cold water." Asuka stared out the front windshield with a slightly dazed expression. "What do you mean, Misato’s going to kill him?" "Curse? What, he’s a transsexual? With WATER? I should have guessed, damn it." Kaji banged a hand off of the steering wheel, sounding the horn and preventing three accidents. "Every so often, when I was asking around about her, somebody would say HIM instead. I chalked it up to confusion and the fact that he used to be a guy... Curse. A damned curse." He looked over at Tarou. "Do you know how SILLY that sounds?" "Remind me to show you mine, sometime. You didn’t answer her question, though. I’m not necessarily against having fem-boy killed, you understand, but why would Misato want to do it?" "She’s his mother." Kaji waited for the shock to fade off of the other two’s faces, then continued. "Years back, before I met her, before the Impact, her folks arranged a marriage with Genma Saotome. It didn’t work out, from what she can remember and I can tell, they were both miserable. Genma came up with something that would let him take off with the kid, training something or other... Misato loved the kid, though. She made Genma promise to raise him to be a... "man among men", she said... or she’d hunt them both down and force them to commit seppuku." Asuka took a deep breath. "That’s awful." "Yeah. Then, as soon as he was gone, she divorced him and went to live with her father, who was at an Antarctic research station at the time. This was late in the year 2000... I think you know what that means." Kaji threw the car through another turn. "Damn, but I wish that she’d forgotten. You two, how the hell did YOU know Ranma anyway?" Tarou spoke first. "I ran into him a few months ago. He’s staying at the same house as my enemy... and his curse makes him stand out a little. To be honest, I find this whole situation incredibly ironic." "But you’re not laughing." Asuka shrugged. "Ryoga introduced us. I think that they’ve known each other for a long time. Good friends." Tarou choked back a laugh. "Asuka, Ryoga’s spent most of the last two years trying to kill Ranma." "What, really? They didn’t try to kill each other... well, maybe once." "Yes, really. Ryoga blames Ranma for everything, as far as I can tell. Getting lost, his curse, taking his girlfriend..." Kaji broke in. "What, you mean Ryoga has a curse too? This is getting downright bizarre, you know." Tarou chuckled. "You get used to it." "I think Ryoga’s not trying to kill him anymore, though. After all, he’s helping Ranma get married." Asuka winced at a near miss between Kaji’s little sports car and a triple-trailer combination. "Ranma’s getting married? Finally, the fem-boy makes up his mind. Who won?" "Excuse me?" Kaji glanced away from the road for a second to look at Tarou. "He’s getting married and you don’t KNOW who the bride is?" "Well, he DOES have three fiancées." Tarou looked over at Asuka. "Or did he clear that up already?" "Don’t ask me. I just know that he’s getting married to Akane." "I pity Akane." Tarou pulled a chocolate bar from a pocket, unwrapped it and started eating. "So, what’s the plan, tall, dark, and unshaven?" Kaji didn’t even register the joke. "We go in, disarm Misato and keep her from hurting anybody, then we try to explain, I guess. A damned curse. Try not to hurt her, though, okay?" "We should be able to manage that." Tarou flexed his right arm. "Hey, what happens if we beat her there?" Asuka cringed as Kaji wove through traffic. Kaji sighed. "Won’t happen. Even going like this, I’m much slower than she is. With how she’s thinking now... she’s probably there already." "Or in a wreck somewhere." Tarou’s eyes narrowed. "No chance. Sure, it LOOKS unsafe, but she can really drive." Kaji’s eyes unfocused, looking through the windshield. "I don’t believe it. A curse." He shook his head, trying to clear it. --- Misato pulled the car to a halt half a block short of the dojo. Deep breaths. She wasn’t thinking straight, KNEW she wasn’t thinking straight, but she did know what had to be done. Done, and done properly. And done now. She pulled the bundle from the passenger side of the car, tore the wrappings in a single motion. The katana was beautiful, almost ornate, and the lacquered sheath shone in the evening light. She had carried this for fifteen years, now, and never once had she thought that she would have to use it. It had been a reminder, a momento, something to hold when she wondered about her son. Now, it had a use. She wasn’t quite ready yet, though. She picked up the discarded wrapper and withdrew a length of white cloth, a strip an inch wide and three feet long. Pulling it across her forehead, she wove her hands twice, tying the back into a hard knot. The ends, she could leave to hang down to her shoulders. NOW she was ready. She stepped out of the car, leaving her keys in the ignition and the door unlocked. She didn’t have any guarantee of success, here. Genma... he was a coward and a weakling, and he’d never raise his hand against her, even to defend himself. Ranma... she didn’t know that about him, couldn’t assume anything about her son. Not her daughter, her son. But if there was a fight, she might not win, and she wouldn’t want to be delayed here in any case. Thirty seconds of walking took her to the gate. A wooden sign, much worn and singed along the bottom, proclaimed the Tendo Dojo of Anything Goes Martial Arts. The words tugged at the back of her mind, but she buried them in her purpose. Later, she could wonder about it. A single push opened the gate and let her inside. She didn’t fancy trying the front door, not with what she was carrying... she’d go in the back way. After all, nothing said that the two had to be alone, either. She circled the house, walked to the large structure behind the house. Very likely, this was the dojo itself. She could start here, finish, and leave, or enter the house if needed. The door was closed but not locked, and she heard the sounds of exertion from the other side. She reached out and slid the door open. The dojo itself was spartan... woven floor mats, sliding panel walls, wooden ceiling panels. An altar stood high on one of the longer walls, flanked by two mottoes. Before she could read them, she noticed the occupant, a girl with hair so dark that it shone blue and wearing a yellow gi. The girl spun around, turning from the shards of a destroyed cinder block, and noticed Misato’s entrance. Her hands came up immediately. "What are you here for?" Clearly, this wasn’t the first time someone had intruded on this dojo. Misato cleared her throat. "I am here for Genma Saotome, and his son, Ranma Saotome." The girl rolled her eyes. "And what do you want WITH them?" "Their lives." Misato thumbed the guard of the katana with her left hand, bringing her right down to grasp the hilt. "Where are they?" She noted that none of her emotions leaked into her voice. "Oh, no." The girl looked up, addressed the ceiling. "I am SICK of this! Couldn’t people just leave well enough alone? Noooo. They have to come over here and ruin OUR lives!" She glanced back down, and there was fire in her eyes. "Go away and don’t come back. Whatever they did to you, forget it happened. Just leave us alone." "Or what?" With a quick motion, Misato drew the katana, letting the light play off of the well-oiled blade. "I’m not leaving until you tell me where they are." "Give it a rest, would you? Honestly, I get so tired of this sort of thing. And do you HAVE to be so melodramatic?" Misato blinked, but the girl continued, gaining in volume as she approached Misato. "Now put that thing away and go back to your life before it gets ended like everything ELSE does around here! Don’t you people ever stop and think about how inconsiderate you’re being? Or how your petty little feuds hurt everybody around you?" "SHUT UP!" Misato lashed out with the sheath, aiming to catch the girl in the jaw... but she caught the end, pulling it from Misato’s grasp and using the momentum to cross the room. "What the hell do YOU know? He made a vow!" "Yeah, well, get in line." The girl flicked her arm out, snaring a kendo practice sword from the wall. Misato felt her teeth grind together as she started across the floor. Purpose... she didn’t feel anything but the purpose that drove her forward. This nit would be no obstacle, and she could continue to fulfill that purpose. --- Rei looked at the gate of the dojo. "Ryoga, why make a gate if you leave it open?" Not that she expected a logical answer, not here. Things didn’t make sense at this place, or at least not the sense that you could follow in class or at NERV. "Hm..." Ryoga rubbed his chin. "They usually don’t leave it open..." He vaulted the wall, and Rei quickly sprang after him in pursuit. He walked through the grassy lawn towards the dojo, and she followed, limping slightly and ignoring the pain. She should have paid more attention to the landings, she thought. Jumping like Ryoga could was easy, just a matter of using the right muscles, but the landings always hurt her feet and ankles. She heard a series of grunts and yells, the kind that her mind associated with fighting. At that moment, Kasumi ran out of the doorway to the dojo. "Ryoga!" She was flustered, and her hand movements were jerky and incoherent. "She came in... looking for Ranma... fighting in the dojo... Akane..." At the last word, Ryoga’s eyes changed. Rei could see the skin around his eyes take on a greenish hue, green from the light coming from in those eyes. Without speaking, he shrugged out of his backpack, one hand clutching the handle of his umbrella. Rei noticed two forms against the rice paper wall of the dojo, framed in silhouette by an unseen lamp. Both of them were holding something, something which they were swinging at each other. One was a good bit taller than the other, though... Ryoga grunted, snapped his arm out straight. --- Misato could feel herself breathing heavily. This wasn’t right, there was no way that a girl should be able to have held out for this long. She was good, that much was clear. Still, though, Misato smiled grimly as she looked at her opponent’s ruined weapon, sheared in half by her last strike. Long, yes, but not much longer. Every hair on Misato’s neck stood on end, and in her feral state she KNEW that she was about to be attacked, and the manner of the attack. Flinging herself backward, she dropped her smile... and then flailed her arms for balance as a bamboo umbrella tore through the paper wall of the dojo and caught the lapel of her jacket. Another inch, and it would have hit her sword arm directly. Both Misato and her opponent turned their heads to look at the hole in the wall. She could hear a thumping sound, like somebody running... and the wall blew outward in a spray of wooden slats and ruined paper. Ryoga stood there, his eyes clouded, and looked at the two of them. No, he was looking at the other girl, taking in her broken bundle of lathes, her heavy breathing, the shallow gash that marked Misato’s only hit. "AKANE! NOOOOO!" Ryoga hunched over... and lit up like a Christmas tree, not a decorated one, but with a green glow the same shade as a live fir. It extended several inches from his body, giving the dojo a surreal appearance. Several chips of wood and stone lifted off of the ground and surrounded him as his head snapped up. His voice was a flat monotone as he said, simply, "I WILL KILL YOU." She couldn’t see his eyes through the greenish haze... He shot across the room, faster than her eyes could follow, and even in her battle frenzy she barely sensed his attack. Not even trying to counter, because after all this was Ryoga and not her enemy, she ducked the blow and hopped backward, crouching and staring at him. His fist passed through empty air... and she was picked up, flinging her right arm out in desperation, trying to avoid her own blade. Something started to penetrate the fog of her mind... why was Ryoga here? He’d said something... about a dojo, about knowing a girl named Ranma... about a girl named Akane. She jumped up, evading his next attack, and still was struck with a force stronger than the wind from a typhoon, blowing her across the mats to rest against a wall. Pain blossomed in her hip. The landing hadn’t been good, and she’d twisted it farther than she had intended. It wouldn’t slow her down much... He launched another attack, this time easy to read, and she swept her katana up in a gleaming arc, intending to use the edge to force his striking arm up and away. The sword met Ryoga’s arm, and she lost sight of him as she was blown backwards by the force of the blow. She rolled, noting the grass under her, and looked up at the red of sunset. Ryoga had blown a hole in the dojo wall, and she’d been tossed through it like a sack. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to avoid any more attacks like that. Why hadn’t it worked? She pictured the blade meeting his arm... that’s all it had done. It hadn’t gone in, the sword hadn’t gone in at all. Misato briefly wondered WHY she’d attempted that against Ryoga... He looked up through the blasted wall of the dojo and growled, deep in the throat. She couldn’t see any recognition in his eyes, or anything else for that matter, and nothing that told her that he knew what he was doing. The small cloud of debris around him swept forward, battering her with tiny shards of cinder block. She was going to die. Ryoga, who was a much better martial artist than she had ever been, and seemingly half-immortal to boot, was about to kill her, and there wasn’t any way of stopping him. Something flared in her subconscious, an old conversation with Kaji, and she remembered her trump card. It would kill him, nothing remotely human could possibly withstand the deadly power of that technique, but she didn’t have the choice now. --- Kaji pulled the car to a halt, nearly crumpling the front end into the wall of the dojo. He sprang out, not even bothering to kill the motor, and hoped that Asuka and Tarou would follow suit. Over the dojo’s wall, he could see a green glow that outshone the red of sunset. Without thinking, he flung himself at the gate, shoving it fully open, and sprinted toward the glow. It was a man, large, but he couldn’t see the face or features through the glare. He cocked a fist, bracing his feet, and leapt forward... Kaji traced his path in an instant, seeing Misato with her sword extended, held in both hands. The stance wasn’t one you could find in any of the modern schools, but Kaji recognized it instantly. She thought that she was about to die, that was the only reason to attempt that technique, and if it didn’t work, she might be right. He felt his throat going raw from his scream of "No, MISATO, NO!", but it would not come in time to save the young man. --- Misato pulled herself up into a fighting stance, grasped the hilt of her katana with both hands. She would only have one chance at this, and it had to work the first time. She resolved to kill him quickly. A noise buzzed at her ear, two screams, one male, one female. Both were ignored in the depth of her focus. She exploded into motion, her sword and arms moving without inertia, trailing through the space in front of her a dozen times in the first second. She felt her lips moving, forming the single-syllable chant that powered her focus and technique... Ryoga entered the space, and she narrowed her eyes, so that the resulting gore wouldn’t blind her. She flashed the blade out, hundreds of times... and it wasn’t working at all. His arms twirled in an intricate dance, batting and deflecting the blade... he couldn’t be responding to the attacks, his hands were moving in a pattern to block the pattern of her strikes. The aura flared once and disappeared, leaving a dumbfounded Ryoga to continue to parry and evade her attack. How was that possible? He couldn’t have survived that, how did he know how to survive that... her concentration slipped, and she lowered the point of her sword. Her ears started to function again, and she heard the sound of laughter... Ryoga’s eyes had come back into focus, and he was giggling. Behind him, the girl Akane was biting her lip to hold back laughter, and Rei had fallen down and was rolling from the force of her own mirth. A shape plowed into Ryoga’s side, giving her only an impression of green flashing with blue before knocking him away, and then somebody had grabbed her, forcing her hands off of the hilt of the sword and wrapping her, murmuring soothing things into her hair... it smelled like leather and sweat and Kaji. She shook her head, clearing the last cobwebs from her mind, and glared at Ryoga, who was hugging Tarou as he laughed hysterically. "What the hell is so humorous about that?" --- Akane stared at Misato. "You’re his MOTHER?" They were seated around the table, both next to one another. At one end, Tarou was doing his best job to make sure everybody knew that he wasn’t trying not to grin, while Asuka just kept sighing and looking at Tarou. Across from her, she could see Rei blinking furiously, and Ryoga hadn’t lifted his head from the table for fifteen minutes. Kaji sat next to Misato on the other side, with a relieved expression on his face. Kasumi came in from the kitchen. "Would everybody like some tea?" She placed a platter in the middle and started serving, without waiting for anybody to reply. Misato nodded, started to lift an arm to rub her neck, stopped, moved her other arm to rub the first, stopped. She was really hurting. "Yes, I’m his mother. HIS mother." Ryoga thumped his forehead against the table. "I’m sorry. Really sorry. I didn’t know... oh man am I sorry..." Akane considered hitting him with a mallet, decided that it wouldn’t do any good. "Enough already!" she said, with a laugh in her voice. "Just don’t be so protective all of the time." He raised his head. "Really?" He looked at Misato. "You’re not mad?" Misato sighed. "Well, I’m not really happy about it... and you DID go a bit overboard, you know. We’ll have to pay for that wall." Tarou chuckled. "I’m sure they have a spare somewhere around here..." "Oh, yes, we do. Should I go get it?" Kasumi started to get up. Asuka smiled. "He was joking, Kasumi. RYOGA will be happy to replace your wall." "I would?" Akane saw that Asuka did not share her compunction about hammering Ryoga. "Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt..." He looked over at Akane. "Are you all right?" She flexed her left arm. The cut hadn’t been deep, really, more of a scratch than anything else. She looked down at the spotted yellow bandana tied around her biceps. "It’s fine, really." Rei looked at Misato. "I understand about the vow and the curse and Ryoga, but why aren’t you mad?" Misato smiled. "Well, I’ve got a healthy son. That’s a lot more than what I had yesterday at this time... besides, the way you describe it, he’s pretty manly." She looked over at Tarou. "THREE fiancées?" "And a fourth girl, but she’s a raving loon." Ryoga cringed, folding in on himself. Akane thought that his reaction was fairly odd... did he have a thing for KODACHI? She was just glad that the psycho was dead. Wait a second! "ONE fiancée, thank you very much." Akane shot a dirty look at Tarou, which only made him smile more. Misato stopped smiling for a second, lost in thought, and then a huge grin split her face. "That’s RIGHT! You’re getting married to him!" She started to hug Akane, but kept hesitating after every time she bent a joint. "I accept the feeling." Akane turned to the rest. "Great. Not even married yet, and already my mother-in-law tries to kill me." This started everybody laughing, except for Rei, who started whispering with Ryoga. Probably asking what a mother-in-law was, Akane thought. --- Soun packed up the portable shogi board. "Well, Saotome-kun, shall we go?" He looked at his old friend, the panda, and started away. Genma waved a sign in the air. {I’m not going, Tendo-kun.} "What do you mean? It’s almost dinnertime, I’m sure Kasumi will have something ready for us." Soun sat back down, though. The panda pulled out another sign. {I’ve given this a lot of thought.} Genma flipped the sign over. {Ranma and Akane are finally getting married, right?} "Well, yes." Soun smiled broadly. Finally, his little girl had given in to the inevitable, falling in love with Ranma. {And did WE do anything to do it?} "Um, no, come to think of it, Saotome-kun." {Right.} {Every time WE try something, it screws up.} "Come now! That was just chance. There’s no reason that we shouldn’t have succeeded. And we did!" {Just lucky, that’s all.} {I’m not taking any chances.} Genma threw the sign away, pulled out another. {I’m going on a training trip, without Ranma.} {I’ll be back for the wedding!} "Saotome-kun..." This... it was a bit drastic, but so honorable! Completely unlike his usual face, true... which just went to show you. At heart, Genma was a true martial artist. Soun felt his cheeks dampen with tears. {I suggest you lay low, too.} {If we do nothing at this point, complete victory will be ours.} "That’s brilliant! I couldn’t have put it better myself." {Say goodbye to Ranma and Akane for me.} {I’ll be leaving now.} Genma leapt up into a nearby tree, coming back down with a pack. It looked ridiculously small, compared to the bulk of the panda. "But Saotome! How will you manage, without me?" The panda barked a laugh. {I got Nabiki to pay me fifty thousand yen to leave for a month.} {She said that it was the best bargain she’d ever seen.} Ohh, to think that his own daughter was so noble as well... "Thank you, thank you! You are too good for this world, Saotome-kun." Genma stared at the horizon as he walked away from his best friend. True, the step he was taking was drastic, possibly overkill, but nothing must stand in the way of the union of the Tendo and Saotome lines. Still, though, that was only a façade, perhaps a justification for his true intent. Oh, he couldn’t explain it to anybody, of course. He’d just had a premonition, this morning. It was quite possibly the strongest feeling he’d ever had in his life, and it pointed to impending doom if he remained at the dojo. Of course, taking Ranma at this point would only break up whatever understanding he’d reached with Akane, so that really wasn’t an option. He leapt up, neatly landing on top of a passing truck headed out of town. Besides, he thought, how long had it BEEN since he’d traveled for fun by himself? Fifteen years? --- Ranma jumped over the wall, just after dusk. If he was lucky, his father wouldn’t have managed to eat ALL of the leftovers, and he could still get some dinner. He momentarily cursed the fact that Nabiki insisted on using a warehouse across town to meet him when they discussed wedding finances. Especially because most of her plans included him doing hard labor to raise the money they’d need... He clutched the engagement ring in his hand. He still couldn’t understand why he hadn’t just given it to her the day before... after all, Ryoga had even cleared out so it wouldn’t be awkward. Ranma momentarily wondered at Ryoga’s change of heart, admiring the lost boy’s strength of character. But tonight would be perfect, they could go up on the roof to look at the stars, just the two of them... and he could give it to her then... His gaze fell on the dojo, noting the huge holes blasted in the walls, and the assorted debris littering the lawn. He circled around, wary of a possible ambush... nothing but the sounds of conversation coming from the house. He peeked around, seeing the dining room through an open panel... There were a LOT of people at that table. Kasumi, and that Kaji guy from the other day, and Ryoga, and Rei, and Asuka... and Tarou? What the hell was Pantyhose doing back, anyway? Next to Akane was a woman he didn’t know, with purple hair, wearing a red jacket and a white headband. Ryoga looked up... turned to look at Ranma, and stood up. He said something, bowing to everybody, and they all laughed. He could hear Tarou’s suggestion that he not get lost on the way. Ryoga nodded, and walked outside to stand next to Ranma. "Hey, Ryoga, what’s up?" Ryoga looked a bit strung out, like he hadn’t had enough sleep. "Not much... when are you going to give her the ring, stupid?" "I was just about to..." "Yeah, right." Ryoga snorted, sounding much like Tarou. On that note... "What’s Tarou doing back here?" Ryoga looked surprised. "Oh, don’t worry about him, he was with us when we came. He’s in town hunting the old pervert, as usual." Ranma grinned. "Who said I was worried? By the way, Ryoga, I’ve gotta say that your taste in women is improving. She’s HOT." "Huh? Who?" Ranma gestured to the newcomer, and Ryoga made a retching sound. "Ranma, that’s disgusting." "Really? Why is that?" Ryoga bent over, gestured for Ranma to do the same. Ranma did, waiting for Ryoga to whisper something... when, directly in his ear, Ryoga shouted, "SHE’S YOUR MOTHER!" He added, more quietly, "You pervert. Don’t look at anybody but Akane." --- End of part 14 Questions and comments go to akent@bayou.uh.edu You HAD to have seen that coming. Tell me you saw that coming...